Well, well, well. π
If you had told me when I ventured off to New Orleans to spend Mardi Gras with my fiancΓ© that two of us would be coming back to London, there’s absolutely no way I’d have believed you. But here we are, your girl is with child! π
The last 7 weeks have been the most surreal of my life so, to try to condense my thoughts on my experience so far, let’s break it down.
How did I find out?
During the second weekend of March, I was away visiting a friend abroad who, I found out was expecting her first child with her hubby. The best news ever. π₯° We spent the whole weekend chatting away about her pregnancy, how she felt, her symptoms, the apps, everything she had learned so far (a lot!), how it didn’t feel real yet. All the while, in the back of mind, I couldn’t help but notice that my period was approaching 5 days late. Adamant that Flow would make her grand appearance on Monday, I wasn’t too worried, but decided to buy a pregnancy test on my way to the office, just to check.
As soon as I got to work, I dipped into the loos to take the test and when those two lines appeared before me, well, I couldn’t believe my eyes. π My best friend called me immediately as we tried to make sense of what just happened, my only reaction was laughter – I couldn’t stop laughing. π I then had to go back to my desk as though everything was normal, even though nothing would ever be the same again. People came over asking me how I was and what did I do over the weekend, I have no idea how I got through the day – everything from my responses to people to the words on the screen was total mumbo jumbo. π I called my fiancΓ© as soon as he was awake and while he cried tears of happiness I just, you guessed it, kept laughing. π
I also made the decision to tell the people closest to me pretty much straight away. The risk of miscarriage is highest in the first trimester and I knew I would need a lot of support in any eventuality. And I’m glad I did as it meant, for example, that my Mum came with me to all my appointments, helped me by cooking me food etc. Though telling people also came with some very clear cons (e.g. having to bat away lots of unwanted opinions and outdated views, people getting over-excited / talking about things like childbirth and toddler life when I had communicated that I was trying to take things a day at a time), I can’t imagine what it would’ve been like had I kept it to myself this whole time.
How did I feel?
The honest answer to this is surprised. Even now that I’m almost 13 weeks along and baby is about the size of a lemon, none of this feels any more real than it did when I was staring down at that test 7 weeks ago. I keep waiting for a moment where something will give and this will all truly “hit me”. I thought it might be my first midwife appointment, but no. Then I thought it might be when I started throwing up and feeling more symptoms but that didn’t do it either, and neither has my rapidly growing bump. Then I thought maybe at my first ultrasound would be the moment I’d be overcome with emotion and cry tears of joy to see visual confirmation that there is in fact a baby in there. But that didn’t happen either! And so now I hold out hope for when I feel that first kick. π
What were my symptoms?
Other than feeling quite nauseated on the flight to and from Switzerland, feeling a little more tired and short of breath than usual (think, falling asleep during car journeys + being out of breath after walking up the stairs), and of course my missed period, I had no obvious symptoms up until about week 6 of my pregnancy. That’s when it all kicked off. π
During week 6, my morning sickness started. I’ll preface this by saying that while it was utterly miserable, I do think I had it relatively mild compared to some women. I quickly noticed the throwing up came at regular times for me – first thing in the morning (so I started drinking water as soon as I woke up so I would just throw up water); then again in the afternoon (I would throw up a little of whatever I had just eaten); and occasionally, again in the evening (again just a little of whatever I had just eaten). This didn’t properly stop until week 12 of my pregnancy and it actually got much worse during week 11 before it stopped. It was quite miserable, I can’t lie. There were days were all I could eat were Ritz crackers or toast or chips, which was really hard. In week 5 (when I had found out I was pregnant) I was excitedly eating so well – smashed avocado on bagels, fruits of all descriptions, fresh fish and salads, fresh smoothies each day – I was living my best life. But all of that went out the window when the sickness started, and it just became about what I felt like eating, which was usually something plain or a little salty. Everything else was totally unappetising during that time.
This was hard for many reasons. I felt very guilty, guilty that I wasn’t able to eat so many of the things I wanted to and that I knew would be amazing for the baby. It was also miserable throwing up several times a day and doing so alone. In an ideal world your partner is there physically to support you and, while my fiancΓ© was amazing at supporting me through that time, I really missed having him around. It’s also pretty exhausting being sick that much. Some days I threw up so hard my face broke out into red spots and blotches – again this only really cleared up after week 12.
Weeks 6 to 12 were also just utterly exhausting in general. I have never felt so exhausted in all my life. There were days were I couldn’t even face going for a walk because I was so tired, and if I did manage a walk or even just to venture downstairs to get food I was so out of breath and exhausted by the end that I had to have a nap. This led to more guilt that I wasn’t being active, but as I learned more about what my body was actually busy doing during this time (growing an entire person AND an organ – the placenta – from scratch), I learned to listen to it when it said it needed rest. I gave up going into the office and worked from home for a few weeks, so I could nap during my break, pee every 5 minutes and throw up in peace. π I also took a week off during week 11 and went to stay with my aunt, this was the week my sickness was at its worst before it stopped the following week but I managed to get a huge amount of much-needed rest and hearty home-cooked meals.
I was also experiencing constipation during this time and found that drinking lots of water and snacking on prunes and clementines helped.
As soon as I was past week 12 and the sickness stopped, I felt such a huge difference in my energy levels that I was able to go out for longer walks again. And my appetite improved, I could eat a wider variety of foods again. My appetite still hasn’t gone back to normal, so I’m just going with the flow and eating what I fancy, I’m just thankful I can eat without feeling nauseated.
I don’t think I’ve really had any proper cravings yet per se, but there are definitely foods I’ve been really enjoying – peri-salted chips from Nandos, jacket potatoes, sweetcorn with butter + salt, mangoes, peaches, toast with butter + jam, Frosties, Ritz crackers, Walkers cheese and onion crisps, tuna and sweetcorn sandwiches, and McChicken sandwiches. π
And no real aversions except I find the idea of a few things like grilled chicken unappealing.
What appointments have I had?
I had my first midwife appointment at week 8 which was basically a general health check (questionnaire, blood pressure check, blood test, etc.) and the rest of my appointments up to the birth (!) were explained to me.
On the NHS you don’t get a scan until you reach 12 weeks, which felt like such an awfully long time to wait! So we decided to go private for an early scan, just to check that everything looked alright, at 10 weeks. I’m so glad I did this, it gave us such peace of mind and also just helped me start to get my head around the idea that there is in fact a baby in there. π We also opted to do a private NIPT test for Down’s, Edward’s and Patau’s syndromes. This also gave us peace of mind AND we were able to find out the gender at 11 weeks (I’ll keep that to myself for now though). π
Then I had my 12-week NHS scan. Baby was very active π and kept moving and flipping around when she was trying to take its measurements. And they went through my blood rests with me. My next scan will be at 20 weeks.
What have I been using?
Supplements: I started taking pregnancy multi vitamins and minerals (Pregnacare) as soon as I found out I was pregnant, along with omega 3 supplements (Wild Nutrition). I will also start taking vitamin D supplements at 13 weeks as per my blood test results.
Beauty: I had to switch out a bunch of my skincare products as they weren’t pregnancy safe (e.g. chemical sunscreen, retinoids) for ones that were (e.g. mineral sunscreen, Weleda skin food and shower creams). I started oiling my growing bump – I’ve been switching between Bio-Oil, Burt’s Bees belly balm and Kitchen Cosmetics sweet rose body oil. I also started slathering my entire body with whipped shea butter from Ami London – what a treat!
Cleaning: I also switched out most of my cleaning products to ones from Ecover.
Clothing: Most of my clothes no longer fit me by weeks 8/9 and my boobs had basically doubled in size π so I had to invest in some maternity leggings, baggy joggers, big t-shirts, and lots of loose floaty dresses (I’m hopefully now entering my floaty, glowy era). β¨
Home: I treated myself to some new pillows from Dunelm along with a v-shaped pregnancy pillow! It’s the best thing ever and really helped with making sleeping comfortable as my bump grows.
